To the tune of “Let It Snow,” Captain Picard and the crew of the Star Trek Enterprise sing “Make It So.” I think this should become a holiday tradition.
This flowchart is primarily for those of us attending academic conferences. But most of the principles also apply to asking questions in class as well.
HT Carmen Imes
A few small slips of the tongue and suddenly the Apostles’ Creed goes from an amazing summary of theological truth to a story about Jesus’ worst day ever.
My daughter is in the process of memorizing the Creed. But her 7-year-old mind is doing some interesting things with the wording of the Creed as she goes. She’s only three lines in, so I’ll have to keep you updated with the rest. But here’s what we have so far.
I believe in God the Father, Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth:
And in Jesus Christ, his only forgotten Son, our Lord:
Who was consumed by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary:
In this version of the Creed, Jesus is having a pretty rough go. First his dad forgets him and he has to be that kid whose parents never show up on time. And then, probably while he’s waiting, the Spirit comes along and eats him. Brutal.
I’m not sure that it can get any worse from here. But if it does, I’ll be sure to let you know. And, if you’d like to use it in church sometime, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Just update your resume first.
By the way, as a bonus for parents, if you’re going to work through the Apostles’ Creed with your kids, be prepared to explain words like “conceived” and “Virgin.” It really livens up the dinner conversation.
Star Wars fans everywhere got a treat last week when a Star Wars blooper reel hit the internet (see below). But not content with just a random collection of bloopers, someone has now transformed that blooper reel into a fantastic Star Wars ”trailer.”
And here’s the original blooper reel. (The sound doesn’t come on until 0:48. So don’t think there’s anything wrong with your computer when you can’t hear anything.)
Apparently it’s not that difficult. According to this list of reasons for admitting people to the West Virginia Hospital for the Insane in the late 1800s, you could get locked up for anything from living an immoral life to egotism, even laziness. I think that covers just about all of us.
But a few of these are particularly hilarious.
- Imprisonment: Really? You’re locking me up for having been locked up? That makes perfect sense.
- Novel Reading: I know people who don’t think much of fiction, but this is going a tad far.
- Over action of the mind and over taxing of mental powers: Apparently lots of people got locked up back then for thinking too hard. As a matter of fact, hard study alone could get you locked up.
- Religious enthusiasm: Anyone who gets excited about their religion should clearly be confined. And if you’re so messed up that you combined this with the previous one and end up in over study of religion, then you’re hopeless.
- Bad whiskey: Ha! If anything could get you locked up for a while, this would be it.
- Women trouble: Enough said.
- Time of Life: This is one of my favorites. Why are you in here? I don’t know, it’s just that time of life.
- Snuff eating for two years: Yep, seems like that would do the trick.
- Asthma: Oh right, a little stay in a mental institution will clear that right up.
- Masturbation: The list has a real issue with this one as it pops up no less than five times. As far as I can tell, the following are dangerous: mixing it with tobacco, doing it while having syphilis, doing it for 30 years or more, and doing it in a “deranged” manner, whatever that means. But whatever you do, don’t “suppress” it either. No mixed messages there.
I find it hard to believe that bacon wouldn’t make even pasta taste better, but I’d definitely think twice before wrapping bacon around my favorite desserts. Of course, my favorite dessert is a cup of coffee. So I’ll just take my bacon on the side.