I am now actively looking for an opportunity to use, “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” Do you think any of my students would mind if I made that one of my “go to” comments when grading papers?
We finally broke down and bought my daughter a cell phone on her last birthday. After years of hearing “But all my friends have one,” she finally reached the stage where she’s away from home enough that we thought it would be useful for us if she had a phone. (Yes, the only real consideration in buying your child a cell phone should be whether it makes your life easier.)
Now that she has a phone, though, I wanted to be intentional about using this new technology as an opportunity to help her develop a more Christ-like character. In particular, I’ve discovered that text-messaging is a great way to help your children develop the virtues of patience and forbearance. Granted, you have to be careful that you don’t push it so far that you violate the command not to “exasperate your children” (Eph. 6:4). But with a little practice, I find that you can draw that critical line between exasperation and productive annoyance.
Here’s my most recent attempt.
Fortunately, I’ve never received an email like this from one of my students. But I’ve heard quite a few of my faculty friends lamenting the existence of such emails, so they must happen with some frequency. If you’re in the midst of writing an email like this, please stop. If you’ve already sent one, find some way of making amends.
Weird Al and grammar policing in the same video? Yes please.
Check out the original post from Mashable to see all 14, but these are my favorites. And just in case you read through these and are tempted to think about how smart you are compared to all those “stupid people,” make sure you read the bonus cartoon at the bottom from http://xkcd.com/1386/.
And here’s your bonus cartoon.
You probably don’t need another spoof of Frozen‘s “Do You Want to Build a Snowman,” but this one is worth it. And a little Star Wars humor on a Saturday morning is always a good idea.
You have to love an author with a sense of humor. The following is a comment that Patrick Rothfuss left at Goodreads upon discovering that hundreds of people had given his next book a 5-star rating despite the fact that he hasn’t finished it yet!
While it’s nice to see folks out there giving this book five stars, and in some cases even reviewing it, I’ll admit that I’m kinda puzzled.
After thinking it over for a while, I’ve realized there’s only one explanation for this:
Time travelers love my books.
This is strangely reassuring, as it lets me know that, eventually, I do finish my revisions, and the book turns out good enough so that I still have a following out there in the big ball of wibbly-wobbly…. timey-wimey…. stuff that I like to think of as the future.
I would also like to say, future readers, that I appreciate your taking time to read and review my books. It’s really flattering knowing that even with time-travel technology at your disposal, you’d rather read my stuff and mention it here on goodreads, rather than, say, hunt dinosaurs, get drunk with da Vinci, or pants Hitler.
Secondly, I’d like to say if you’re The Doctor, and you’re reading this, I would make an excellent traveling companion. I know you normally tend to hang out with pretty young women and robot dogs. And honestly? I respect that.
Still, I bring certain things to the table. Humor, witty banter, and a beard that will allow me to blend in seamlessly with any pre-industrial Germanic culture. I’m also an excellent kisser and play a mean game of Settlers of Catan.
Just throwing it out there.
Lastly, if any of you happen to have a digital copy of the book you’d like to e-mail me, I’d really appreciate it. I’d love to see the five-star version of the book, because right now, the one I’m toiling away at is about a three an a half-in my opinion. It would save me a lot of work if I could just skip to the end and publish it.
I have always loved Mo Willems’ We Are in a Book!, which is about the existential crisis Elephant and Piggie go through when they realize that they are characters in a book that will soon end. But I never noticed (until I saw in on Imgur) that you can excerpt certain pages and recreate the existential angst than many of us experience when we’re nearing the end of a good book.
Oddly, I don’t usually have the same experience when I’m grading.
The funniest part comes at the end when she “sets to do whatever she wants.” Right, that’s how it works.
The very job that promised life proved to be death to me.
For grading, seizing an opportunity through the teaching, deceived me and through it killed me.
So the teaching is holy, and the classroom is holy and righteous and good.
Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was grading, producing death in me through what is good, in order that grading might be shown to be sin, and through the classroom might become sinful beyond measure.
For we know that the teaching is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under grading.
Romans 7:9-14 VLT (very loose translation)
Romans 7 never made so much sense.
[At the end of each semester, professors everywhere take a collective deep breath…and then let it out in the form of one long complaint. I think we’re mostly annoyed at ourselves for once again assigning more work than we actually want to grade. Anyway, this is a post I wrote a couple of years back, but it fit my mood this morning as I’m finally reaching the end of this semester’s grading. Enjoy.]
I have heard from many adoptive parents about the obnoxious questions people ask about their adopted children. Finally we have some clear guidelines about how to know whether a question about adoptive children is inappropriate. Feel free to share this with anyone who might be inclined to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
If you’re one of the few who hasn’t seen this yet, check out what has to be the funniest pre-flight announcement ever.
I know we’re supposed to pray for our enemies and whatnot, but for those occasions when you just need a good curse or two, here are some things you can wish upon your worst enemies, maybe even you nemesis, if you’re lucky enough to have one. (via Doghouse Diaries)
This is for anyone who is occasionally frustrated by the oddities of English spelling. Enjoy.