Cracked offers a list of 5 things you won’t believe aren’t in the Bible. Most of this is pretty common knowledge among those who actually read the Bible, although I found some of the comments interesting. Others were just funny.
Since Cracked isn’t always safe viewing material, I’ve listed them below along with some of their more interesting comments.
- Angels. Now, there are angels in the Bible. But if you encountered some of the angels it describes, you’d probably need a shotgun under your bed to sleep soundly for the rest of your life. NOTE: that is a joke. If angels turn out to be real, and you encounter one, do not shoot it with a shotgun.
- The Devil Is Red, and Has Horns, a Pitchfork and Goat Legs. Not one inch of that is in the Bible. Anywhere. Not even the goatee (and this is a book where every other character has a goatee. Or at least we picture it that way).
- The Holy Grail. If you try to find the story of the magical cup in the Bible, you’ll wind up flipping around confused, thinking you’ve got an abridged version or something. (Okay, seriously? People actually think this is in the Bible?)
- The Antichrist. The Antichrist is mentioned only four times in the Bible, and each time he’s described the same way: “Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the Antichrist.” (2 John 1:7) Yep: The Antichrist is anyone who doesn’t believe in Christ. The “anti” is basically being used the same way it’s used when we say someone is “anti-war.” So anyone who wants to accuse Richard Dawkins of being the Antichrist is actually entirely correct, and what’s more, he’ll agree with you. (They do go on to point out that much of the material traditionally associated with the Antichrist comes from things like the beast and the false prophet in Revelation.)
- Hell. The only part you’ll find in the Bible is the fact that Hell sucks and that there is fire (from passages like Matthew 13:42: “And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.”) And … that’s as specific as it gets.