Joe Carter has posted a list of the 50 things that he thinks a man should be able to do. I’m not sure if he means that it’s uniquely important that men be able to do these things. Since I have long since give up any hope of being a “real man,” whatever that means, I’m sure I’ll never get all 50 of these done. But, there were a few that I thought were particularly interesting.
3. Change a diaper so that the baby is cleaner and you are no dirtier than when you started. I got a laugh out of this one because apparently my dad managed to raise two children without ever changing a diaper. When mom had to run errands, she’d slap a couple of extra diapers on us boys so we wouldn’t leak through before we got home. I’m pretty sure that I’ve been permanently scarred by this in some way.
9. Innocently flirt with a woman at least twice your age—Without causing offense or being disrespectful, of course. There’s something slightly troubling about this one.
13. Get a prostate exam without crying. I cried a little just typing this.
28. Make a plan for the first 24 hours after a zombie apocalypse. This just goes without saying. What real man doesn’t have a zombie apocalypse contingency plan?
33. Grow food—even if you never owned a vegetable garden, you need to understand the basic theory of how to grow food. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you’re going to be hungry. The basic theory is not that hard. Stick seeds in the ground. Water them. Fight the zombies for several weeks. Eat dinner.
37. Load, shoot, and clean a firearm. I can see where this would helpful in dealing with zombies. On a more serious note, is this really part of what it means to be a “real man”?
42. Hug another man. Preferably not while flirting with an older woman, getting a prostate exam, fighting zombies, or cleaning a firearm.