According to theoatmeal.com, there are at least five very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth. You may not agree, but these should definitely be kept in mind the next time that you meet a dolphin:
- When a dolphin makes those cute whistles and clicking sounds, they’re actually vulgar insights.
- Their rubbery, soft skin is easy on the knuckles and makes for a great undersea punching bag.
- Dolphins play their entire lives. Humans only play until we reach adulthood – this us unfair. Make it fair by landing a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Dolphins love to think that they’re the strongest and fastest. Ever see them swim with a boat? To them it’s a race. Put them in their place with a solid left hook to the jaw.
- Anything that smiles that often needs to be reminded that the world is a cruel, dark place.
(Please note: no dolphins were harmed in the creation of this post.)