I’ve decided that the disallowed goal in the last US match is the direct result of soccer karma. The soccer universe was thrown out of balance by the gift-goal that the US received against England, and soccer dis-harmony has reigned ever since: Spain lost, Germany lost, France lost, England can’t seem to buy a goal, chaos rules the soccer universe. In a desperate attempt to redress the imbalance, the Supreme Referee himself appeared in mortal form and disallowed the US goal lest the material world itself implode under the weight of its own improbability. So, US soccer fans take heart. Our sacrifice, painful though it may be, was actually necessary for the preservation of the known world.